New year, new emotions. I think I'm on an emotional rollercoaster these days. Very likely due to the fact that I am aware that I departing for Brisbane in 5 weeks, for a good 3 years. Not that I will not be back in between at all. I feel it's really stepping out of my comfort zone (being in Singapore) that scares me subconsciously. I had dreams of me being alone, lost. Reality had better be the opposite. From last year's expectation to leave was like 7months countdown and now, it's down to the final 5 weeks. There's still a bit of stuff for me to settle.
I am heading for Brisbane with a small group of friends, mostly all studying the same undergraduate programme as I do. I am just afraid what if, just what if the person I need there the most if my family and my friends wouldn't suffice? Maybe we will all learn to become each other's pillar of support, becoming each other's family. I am unsure how i would react to homesickness, when homesickness would hit me. But 1 thing that I'm really grateful is that language is not a barrier. I can't imagine being misunderstood or not understood at all, that sucks even more. I can speak English and Mandarin fluently and some Korean.
I am looking up to all celebrities, especially those that left that home countries/families to do what they love. They must have plucked up so much courage to do it alone. They are inspirational. I am sure they did go through phases like missing their families and stuff, but I am very impressed that they have got over that phase and are comfortable in their current situation. Something that I will learn from them.
I think one thing i have to remember and do over at the land of sunshine is to 'Do one thing at a time'. I will not be in my home country, so to adapt, i can only be patient and let adaptation occur as I experience the country and culture. I won't have the benefit of knowing everything /most things like i do here in Singapore. I have to re-learn some things like taking the public transport, recognising roads, buildings etc.
Today, I am nervous and afraid. I hope that I would grow to be stronger even if tough times do come along. Note to myself, breaking down once in awhile is okay, don't have to bottle everything up. Breaking down is not a weakness, neither is it giving up. Breaking down is to slow down your own pace, to rest for a longer journey ahead. I do forsee myself breaking down sometime. But, it's just me telling myself to take a break and re-look at the situation and see what I can do to make the best out of it.
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