We all think about death at least once by now...
Who would care if I left this world?
How would I be remembered?
Do I even belong here ?
Death
December 7, 2019
I am so glad that I still have this space.. to just.. have mind run wild...
We all think about death at least once by now...
Who would care if I left this world?
How would I be remembered?
Do I even belong here ?
We all think about death at least once by now...
Who would care if I left this world?
How would I be remembered?
Do I even belong here ?
November 14, 2019
Felt compelled to write something short in this abandoned space after speaking to one of my patients.
We both have something in common. Psychological issues.
I have never shared, never spoken about my own psychological issues, because I fall under the category of those who Do Not Seek Treatment. But I am not sure for those who know about the existence of this issue actually know how I feel.
Only a few close ones knew I had my first onset of anxiety in polytechnic. Somehow I survived multiple challenges, got through many difficult times.
I was given pills initially for a short while... then no pills... i thought i was fine... not until this year or maybe i was already showing signs of it during University but i brushed it aside and labelled "Stress".
I felt this year was intense. I realised I can't control much of my emotions. Sometimes tears just fall. Crying is my coping mechanism. I tear sometimes at home because of issues at work, relationship, myself etc. Sometimes i tear silently at work before roll call. & i feel sorry for my partner as he can't handle a crying me. Maybe it is a blessing that we are in a LDR so he sees less of it.
What does Anxiety feels like to me?
I get sudden loss of control in what i do, what i feel. It is a mixture of emotions that i can't put into words. I lose control of breathing as well, breathing at funny rates. All i can do is deep breaths to put myself at ease for a short while. Anxiety might disappear for hours, for days, for weeks. But on harder days, it does reappear.
Speaking to my patient today was healing to me, that we both overthink, words etched to our hearts and minds - beneficial or not so beneficial at times. At work, if i get feedback/remarks, it stays with me, always making sure I don't make the same mistake... the not so beneficial... that rollercoaster ride of emotions that comes as a package.
We both have something in common. Psychological issues.
I have never shared, never spoken about my own psychological issues, because I fall under the category of those who Do Not Seek Treatment. But I am not sure for those who know about the existence of this issue actually know how I feel.
Only a few close ones knew I had my first onset of anxiety in polytechnic. Somehow I survived multiple challenges, got through many difficult times.
I was given pills initially for a short while... then no pills... i thought i was fine... not until this year or maybe i was already showing signs of it during University but i brushed it aside and labelled "Stress".
I felt this year was intense. I realised I can't control much of my emotions. Sometimes tears just fall. Crying is my coping mechanism. I tear sometimes at home because of issues at work, relationship, myself etc. Sometimes i tear silently at work before roll call. & i feel sorry for my partner as he can't handle a crying me. Maybe it is a blessing that we are in a LDR so he sees less of it.
What does Anxiety feels like to me?
I get sudden loss of control in what i do, what i feel. It is a mixture of emotions that i can't put into words. I lose control of breathing as well, breathing at funny rates. All i can do is deep breaths to put myself at ease for a short while. Anxiety might disappear for hours, for days, for weeks. But on harder days, it does reappear.
Speaking to my patient today was healing to me, that we both overthink, words etched to our hearts and minds - beneficial or not so beneficial at times. At work, if i get feedback/remarks, it stays with me, always making sure I don't make the same mistake... the not so beneficial... that rollercoaster ride of emotions that comes as a package.
March 9, 2019
Yet again, abandoned this space. Because every day is just work -> home -> game/reading -> sleep -> wake and repeat.
I am trying to think of ideas to start blogging again, maybe once a month, or whenever i feel like it.
I don't really change my skincare products that often now, so there's not much to share.
I am hoping to change the direction, and maybe share more on what I do in game - MapleStory SEA.
It is an old classic game, but I am still playing it (now that i can spend a bit of money to make my character cuter than 14 years ago)
Also excited for the month end, embarking on my virgin trip to SakuraLand Japan with my work colleague/senior~
But I have an upcoming public talk at HDB Hub on low calorie meal planning.
Work has been hectic since 2019, but more so these days, especially when manpower keeps going down every few months.
I am trying to think of ideas to start blogging again, maybe once a month, or whenever i feel like it.
I don't really change my skincare products that often now, so there's not much to share.
I am hoping to change the direction, and maybe share more on what I do in game - MapleStory SEA.
It is an old classic game, but I am still playing it (now that i can spend a bit of money to make my character cuter than 14 years ago)
Also excited for the month end, embarking on my virgin trip to SakuraLand Japan with my work colleague/senior~
But I have an upcoming public talk at HDB Hub on low calorie meal planning.
Work has been hectic since 2019, but more so these days, especially when manpower keeps going down every few months.
