For the very first time, i've 100% feeling that my Maths is not getting an A. BLAME the new format! gave us more time, and increased difficulty of the paper, so freaking unfair when the maths syllabus that we are already taking is of some level of difficulty. But whatever, its over already.
People around me are also quite emotional these days. I feel them totally, been through it so i understand how they feel.
On the bright side, Christmas is coming. Went to town yesterday with Eunice to catch You're the apple of my eye. I swear the movie is really nice! i'm rewatching it for the third now (CURRENTLY, RIGHT NOW on my computer). From cineleisure we went to taka then to ION... half the day gone at town.
Watched movie for FREE :) had free movie passes from some facebook like page thing, and so i am the lucky one to get a pair of tickets so i asked eunice along to watch the movie with me after yesterday's last paper in the morning.
First time i learnt something from the movie, its really nice, emotional and funny. NC16 though cause of the language and content.
The moment you gave up all hopes on me. The moment when your patience ran out on me. The moment you lost trust in me. The moment when all harsh words and messages lashed at me, I kept quiet, not because i feel that you were entirely right nor i was okay with it, cause i knew if i'd tried to reason out, it will end up as a quarrel. Those hurtful words, i can forgive but i won't forget, they caused me to lose focus in school almost every other day. Distanced myself away from you cause i didn't know how to face you after those messages. Those messages kept me thinking, day and night and even while asleep, none of the days i could eat or sleep well. I distanced myself away cause i thought it would be better for me and you, so that i won't get affected that much and cope with school. You never knew how much i was struggling in class, only my close friends witnessed me struggling to focus and do work and still have to appear 'I'm alright' infront of lecturers and others when actually deep inside me its screaming 'I'm Dying'.
Never knew i'd to struggle this much. "Words don't have the power to hurt you unless the person means a lot to you." Close friends knew my plans. I'd plans, not that i forgot or didn't want to fufil my promises. It's just that i pushed the plans back. You might have thought i didn't tried hard enough, i did, but the results weren't shown yet. Friends knew what i was planning for you, i gave up sleep to rush your present before your big day. Initially still wanted to give it you, but after thinking, the gift lost its entire meaning, and i don't wish to give a gift that is meaningless. Happy memories will be remembered, i'll cover up the bad ones so i can continue living my life like how i used to. Just one sentence for you: 谢谢你喜欢我.
Though i may not be as strong as before, i'll try my best to stay strong throughout my life. Let bygones be bygones.
Closing this chapter of my life. Starting a new one.
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